Pain at Midlife: Why It Shouldn’t Be Dismissed as “Overthinking” or “Just Getting Older”

As we step into our 40s or 50s, a body that has carried us through years of hard work can begin to protest in the form of pain that is hard to explain.

Some people start having migraines more often. Some feel aching and tightness in muscles and joints throughout the body. Others live with a dull, persistent ache in the pelvic area. Yet when they finally see a doctor for an initial check-up, the results show nothing clearly abnormal.

And what often follows, leaving a person feeling even more alone than the physical pain itself, are the words of people around us, or even the voice we use to judge ourselves:

“At your age, aches and pains are normal. Just put up with it and you’ll get used to it.” Or: “Your results are normal. Maybe you’re just stressed, or overthinking it?”

In psychology and modern medicine, the pain you are facing is always a real experience, even when initial tests have not yet found a clear explanation. And no woman should be taught to quietly endure suffering simply because society sees it as a normal part of getting older.

A global spotlight on “chronic pain at midlife”, a problem that should not be overlooked

This issue has received significant international attention. On World Menopause Day, 18 October 2026, the International Menopause Society (IMS) chose “Chronic Pain at Midlife” as the year’s theme.

The IMS White Paper highlights a very important reality: chronic pain in midlife women remains an under-recognized health problem, one that is under-diagnosed and inadequately treated. Around half of midlife women experience chronic pain, from migraine and fibromyalgia, a condition of widespread pain throughout the body, to chronic pelvic pain, and these conditions call for individualized care from specialists across several disciplines working together.

The World Health Organization (WHO) explains that perimenopause, the years leading up to menopause, can last several years and may affect physical, emotional, mental and social well-being, with symptoms such as hot flushes, night sweats, difficulty sleeping and mood changes.

However, the IMS report notes that there are still significant gaps in what we know about the relationship between menopause and pain. So we should not jump to the conclusion that every kind of pain in this stage of life is caused by “hormones” alone.

Why shouldn’t every pain be blamed on “hormones” or “just in your head”?

When chronic pain appears at midlife, the most common traps run in two directions: either everything is blamed on menopausal hormones, or it is put down entirely to mental health or stress.

Skipping a proper physical assessment because we think it is simply our age can mean overlooking physical causes or warning signs (red flags) that need specialist treatment. If the pain is new, changes pattern or becomes more severe, or comes with fever, unexplained weight loss, red, hot and swollen joints, or weakness, see a doctor promptly. The most important first step is always a careful medical assessment to look for any physical cause that may be hidden.

On the other hand, when a doctor says that stress or poor sleep plays a part in the pain, many people immediately take it to mean, “So I’m imagining it?”

The answer is: not at all.

In neuroscience and the psychology of pain, accumulated stress, poorer sleep, fear that moving will cause more pain, and constantly monitoring symptoms are all factors that can genuinely “turn up or turn down the sensitivity” of the nervous system to pain. But a more sensitive nervous system does not mean the pain is imaginary.

When the brain learns to “stay on watch for pain”

Imagine your body facing pain again and again for weeks or months, and at night you are still not sleeping well. Poor sleep can make us more sensitive to pain, and pain in turn makes it even harder to sleep.

When pain happens often, some people may learn, without realizing it, to anticipate and watch out for pain (pain hypervigilance).

The brain may start running a radar over the body from the moment you wake: “Where will it hurt today?” Or, as you bend to pick something up, the body may brace its muscles in advance for fear of getting hurt. This kind of watchfulness and bracing can make pain feel more prominent, and lead us to move less or become more guarded. Over time, for some people, the pain may come to interfere with life more than before.

How can hypnotherapy support caring for yourself?

Alongside medical diagnosis and treatment from several disciplines, hypnotherapy can play a role as gentle, structured complementary care, helping to ease pain temporarily and to rebalance how the nervous system works across three key dimensions:

1. Rebalancing emotion and relaxation (Emotion)

Guiding the body and mind into a deeply relaxed state helps lower the arousal of an autonomic nervous system that has been stuck in threat-watching mode. As the mind and long-tensed muscles gradually release, this can temporarily ease how intrusive the pain feels and restore a sense of calm and safety to the body.

2. Reshaping automatic thoughts and perspectives about bodily sensations (Cognition)

At a subconscious level, this process helps you gradually reshape your relationship with bodily sensations: from a brain that keeps watch, panics and builds frightening pictures in advance that the pain will be uncontrollable, to one that comes back to the present moment, notices the body’s signals with a steadier understanding, and stops magnifying the suffering in thought.

3. Reshaping behavior and recovery in daily life (Behavior)

As fear of movement and tension before bed ease, it becomes easier to gradually change everyday habits: moving the body in a relaxed way rather than bracing against it, and building a wind-down routine before bed that supports deeper sleep. These are important foundations that help the body recover more naturally.

Listening to your body is not a weakness

Pain at midlife is not something you have to resign yourself to just because the number of your age has gone up, and it is not proof that you overthink or are not strong enough.

Allowing yourself to acknowledge, “I am in pain, and I deserve proper care,” is where true self-respect begins: whether that means seeing a doctor for a thorough check for physical causes, making enough time to rest, or finding a safe space to soothe a nervous system that has been working hard for a long time.

Today, try setting down for a moment other people’s verdicts that tell you to just endure it, and turn instead to listen to your body’s signals with understanding and tenderness. Caring for body and mind together, in balance, is the key that can carry you through this stage of life with more steadiness and ease.