After a heavy day, Karn often finds himself eating in a way that feels entirely beyond his control.

He eats, and eats, and keeps eating, wanting to stop and unable to. And he usually eats like this when he is alone. Afterward a wave of shame and self-disgust comes in. “I’m just greedy,” he tells himself, again and again.

Karn has tried controlling himself more strictly time after time, and every time he fails, he believes more firmly that something about him is defective. What he does not know is that this unstoppable eating is bound up with overwhelming emotion he does not know how to manage — and that strict control is itself part of the problem.

This article is an invitation to understand binge eating disorder (BED) with care and with understanding. It begins with the most important sentence first: this is not a matter of greed or of a lack of discipline. It is a psychiatric illness that can be treated. If you suspect that you or someone close to you is facing this condition, contact a doctor or a mental-health professional for appropriate care.

What binge eating disorder is

Binge eating disorder is one of the eating disorders, and the most common in the group. Its central feature is recurrent episodes of eating accompanied by a sense of loss of control, followed by considerable distress. What distinguishes BED from bulimia nervosa is that people with BED do not carry out the compensatory behaviors found in bulimia.

What is worth distinguishing clearly is that this condition is not the same as occasionally eating more than intended, which everyone has done. BED recurs again and again, usually accompanied by a sense of being unable to control it, and it causes real distress. For many people, unstoppable eating becomes a way of coping with overwhelming emotion they do not know how to handle. Food therefore functions rather like a temporary instrument for relieving psychological distress, rather than being purely a matter of appetite.

The most harmful myth: it is not about greed

The misunderstanding that causes the most pain around BED is seeing it as merely greed, appetite, or a failure of self-control.

The truth is that BED is a psychiatric illness with complex mechanisms behind it, not a defect of character or morals. Blaming a person for being greedy or weak is not only unjust; it adds shame, which becomes the fuel that keeps the cycle turning. Another stereotype that needs correcting is the belief that this illness occurs only in people who weigh a great deal. In truth BED occurs in people of every body shape, and weight stigma only compounds a person’s distress further.

A pause button for overwhelming emotion

An image that helps explain what is happening: think of a time when some feeling accumulated until it felt like more than you could bear.

For many people, unstoppable eating functions rather like hurrying to press a pause button on those overwhelming emotions, so that an unbearable feeling settles for a moment. This is why it has nothing to do with appetite or greed, and everything to do with a desperate wish for the pain inside to stop for a while.

But that pause button works only briefly. When its effect fades, the original emotion returns, with a further layer of shame added. And that shame is itself another hard-to-bear emotion, which may push the cycle around again. There is also an important point many people do not know: attempting to fast or to control food strictly usually intensifies this cycle, because accumulated deprivation pushes harder toward unstoppable eating. This is why telling someone to “have more discipline” or “control yourself” never works, and sometimes makes things worse.

Where does this illness come from?

What is important to understand is that BED does not arise from a single cause, and it is not the fault of the person living with it.

Research indicates roots in several contributing factors: biological and genetic factors, difficulty regulating emotion, co-occurring depression or anxiety, past wounds, low self-esteem, a history of strict dieting, along with dieting culture and body-shape stigma. Understanding that its roots are this complex helps us stop calling people weak, and turn instead toward seeing the genuine distress underneath.

Treatment and recovery: it begins with asking for help

The most important news is that BED is treatable. Many people caught in this cycle for a long time have been able to return to a calmer relationship with food and with their own emotions, with appropriate care. And the sooner help is received, the better the prospect of recovery.

The point worth emphasizing especially is that treating BED is not a matter of controlling food more strictly or finding tougher discipline, which usually accelerates the cycle. It is care directed at the cycle of unstoppable eating itself and at the emotions behind it, drawing on a team of specialists: psychological therapy, medical care, and nutritional care and work on the relationship with food under specialist supervision. Stepping forward to ask for help — from a doctor, a mental-health professional, or someone you trust — is not a sign of weakness. It is one of the bravest steps there is.

As for approaches to caring for the mind such as hypnotherapy, we want to be clear here: it is not a treatment for BED, and it must never be used in place of, or in a way that delays, the primary treatment from a specialist team. At most it belongs as a complementary approach working alongside, and under, the treating team’s plan of care. Within that limit, it may help support some of the underlying factors that often lie behind this condition: gradually restoring self-esteem, gradually building a safer and gentler relationship with oneself, easing anxiety, and adjusting one’s view of self-care toward something gentler and more appropriate. All of this is complementary only. It is not treatment of the illness itself and cannot replace care from a specialist team. For an illness like this, specialist treatment is the heart of the matter and must always come first.

At NBRH we hold that nobody should be defined by the illness they are facing, or judged by a myth that is unjust, and we believe in the possibility of recovery when appropriate care is received. For a condition like BED, we would say plainly, and with real care, that treatment from a specialist team is the most important and most necessary thing of all — and that reaching out for help today may be the beginning of finally easing a cycle that once seemed never to stop.

To understand how to care for overwhelming emotion without suppressing it, “Emotional Regulation” may help steady you.

Binge Eating Disorder: Beyond a Question of Discipline